you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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