I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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