He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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