no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
