did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
