there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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