My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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