no you cant smoke seaweed
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
