Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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