Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
