i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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