I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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