you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
pray to the hookup gods
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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