i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
