I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
