3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
When are your genitals available?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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