I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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