She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
