So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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