I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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