do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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