The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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