so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
