She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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