I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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