I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
