This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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