Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
