White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
