so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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