You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
