Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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