Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
