I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
