nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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