there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
