she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
