i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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