I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
