What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
