you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
