i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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