Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
