This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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