i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
