okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
