Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
