What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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