your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
