...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
